And Happy New Year to the viewers of The Crosby Show.
We had some great family time over the holidays and now here we are over half a month into the new year.
We had some great family time over the holidays and now here we are over half a month into the new year.
I didn't make a new year's resolution this year. Instead, I came up with a mantra for this year.
This year, I want to just give myself a break. I can be (and I think it's true for most women) my own worst critic. And let me tell you, I am a harsh critic!
I criticize myself on the physical. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and focus on all the things that need to be "fixed." You know when you stand there after a shower in various stages of nakedness and you analyze and get depressed? This part needs to be firmer. This needs to be thinner. This needs to be smoother. If only this were like this or like that. Or when you get up close and personal examining your face, pores, and lines? I need to give my self a break from ALL of that. This year, when I look in the mirror and I want to be filled with gratitude. I need to banish the negative and instead send a shout-out up to heaven, thankful that I have a healthy heart and a strong enough set of lungs and legs to run. I need to be grateful that this body was able to carry a baby past 40 weeks and nurse him for 14 months. Unfortunately, old habits die hard and I have already found myself breaking this mantra. But I am determined to say at least one nice thing to myself every time an ugly thought surfaces. Give myself a break from, well, myself.
I also need to give myself a break on parenting. I'm not a perfect mom. I don't always do the right thing or choose the right way. But I do my best and my intentions are always good and true. I need to have confidence in what I know, in my intuition and then own what I do. Crosby is happy and healthy, and so what if I make a mistake, have to say I am sorry? He's thriving and I give him my absolute best. I'm still working on me, but hopefully with God's help, I can foster a little independent mind and shape a little heart to be set on Him.
I also need to give myself a break on parenting. I'm not a perfect mom. I don't always do the right thing or choose the right way. But I do my best and my intentions are always good and true. I need to have confidence in what I know, in my intuition and then own what I do. Crosby is happy and healthy, and so what if I make a mistake, have to say I am sorry? He's thriving and I give him my absolute best. I'm still working on me, but hopefully with God's help, I can foster a little independent mind and shape a little heart to be set on Him.
Giving myself a break also means trying to stop comparing myself to other women. It is sad and true, and I am most certainly guilty of it. Social media, like Instagram and Pinterest, can really fan the fire of comparison and sends me down the road of emotionally abusing myself over something I love about someone in those pictures, and that I lack. She's prettier, I need to wear cuter outfits. Look at her gorgeous hair, I need to cut mine. I can't cook like that, I work during the week. My home isn't as organized. I don't dress my baby in as cute of clothes. We don't take as awesome photos. It goes on and on. Comparing myself to others just makes me feel inadequate, lesser and inferior, whether its comparing how you look or how you raise your children. And none of that shit matters. Not really.
I think a lot of women experience insecurity through out their lives. For me, since becoming a mother, I feel like my flaws or feelings of being lesser in comparison are heightened. Maybe it is the hormones, maybe it is the urge to be the best for Crosby and Lance, or maybe it is just part of being a human. Whatever it is, I need to give myself a break.
I need to remind myself that while nothing is wrong with trying to be better, or to strive for greatness, I am flawed. I am imperfect. And that's ok.
Love,
Carmen
Love,
Carmen
No comments:
Post a Comment